A few years ago I wrote a somewhat lengthy letter to Commodore, offering

my services to them in a number of ways.  One of these was advertising, an

area, we all admit, has been sorely lacking SOMEthing!  In the letter, I

outlined two ad campaigns I had in mind, and included an example of each.

  Here's one:





                            The Printer Stand


  As the viewer, you find yourself walking down a hallway in some clinical

type of building.  You walk up to a door marked "Lab 202", we see part of

your hand reach out to turn the knob and you enter the room.  The Bench-

Master is sitting there wearing a white lab coat, typing something on the

computer.  He looks up, smiles, and says "Hi!  How ya doin'?  <getting up>

Thanks for stopping by..I could use a hand here."  You follow him to a side

table where the two of you pick up an Apple computer system.  As you help

him carry it to a strange-looking mechanical contraption in the back, he

continues: "Yep, did some testin' on this here Apple..whew!  Lemme tall ya,

got some results I didn't expect!"  You load the Apple into a space in the

center of the contraption, he sets a few dials and steps back.

  He says "Yep, tested it this way and tested it that way, sure got some

surprising results all right!  Hey, see that switch there?  Wanna push that

red button for me?  Thanks."

  In the corner of your eye you see your hand reach up and push the red

button on the wall.  A heavy mechanical rumbling is heard.  The BenchMaster

continues, and just as you're starting to understand that he means he was

surprised bad, not surprised good, you notice the heavy hydraulic press

decending upon the Apple.  Over the splintering sounds of plastic and glass,

the BenchMaster calmly explains how the Apple failed his many tests.  Mention

is made of the Amiga, but only as a clinical reference point..this is no

time for bragging.

  With some time-lapse photography, the press raises back up and the remains

are swept into the pulverizing section of the machine where they're reduced

to a fine grit.  The grit is then heated into some hideous goo and poured

into a mold.

  The BenchMaster's calm, trusting voice, with cutbacks to his honest face

and smiling eyes, overrides all this.  He reaches down, knocks the piece out

of the mold and walks back to the computer bench.  "Give me a hand with the

printer, will ya?  Thanks."  You lift up the printer while he slides the

piece underneath.  He says "Yep, in this day and age of recycling, it's good

to re-use these raw materials.  Apple may not make much of a computer...but

they sure make a DARN fine printer stand, don't you think?"

  The BenchMaster then says good-bye, and as it fades to black we see the

faithful BenchMaster back at the computer, whistling softly to himself,

happily adjusting his snazzy new printer stand...


                                       *


  Never heard a peep from them, of course, but it's fun dreaming.


%Z